Last week

As I said earlier nothing extremely exciting has happened.
After I got a great start to a healthier life by being on that killer diet I signed up at a gym. Trying to go there 2-3 times minimum in a week. I am not going to be too hard on my self even if I did start a healthier life, so I am going to allow a little splurging on the week-ends. Nothing over the top though! Last friday I made pizza with low-fat cheese and I tried out Coca Cola Zero which was just as good as regular Coke! For all you Coke-Light haters - I am one of you and I am telling you that Zero tasted like the real thing!
Anyway, I can't go all crazy with dieting either because it will back-fire as a very irritated stomache and I'm fine with just one ulcer, don't need several.
AND I needs my wine.

I thought I would be dying after my first work-out, but instead I was filled with energy and endorphines! Not too much muscle-pain either, so I whent the next day too. I can't wait to go again!! Feels so great to have actually developed a positive intake to working out! I used to hate it!! It felt like a must and I never enjoyed it. At all. But now it's something that I get to look forward to doing. I think this will do me good mentally as well. Getting my mind off things is what I need. I'm not saying I'm going crazy or that I am depressed, no no just too occupied with my thoughts about my health. Everything else feels good.

My sister came home for easter so we had some sis-time with awesome Greek food and a movie! :)

This week-end we celebrated easter. Basically this is how it whent: Lamb-wine-vodka-dancing-burgers-hangover-easterwitches-kebab-koma-alcohol-makeup-alcohol-dancing-sleepingforhundredhours-food-icecream-tv-bed-happythateasterisoverbecauseiamtoooldforthisshit.

Silence

Ok so I've been a bit quiet on the blog-front and I' sorry to say that it's not because I have been doing loads of exciting thins. I have just not felt like writing because my mood has not been so great. I just feel like there is too much going on right now. And even though I have tried to take it easy because I'm paranoid that I will die if I do anything that is out of ordinary. Not maybe that literally but I'm seriously paranoid about getting cancer if I dont get the surgery done quickly enough. It sounds crazy to some, but it is my future with an 80% chance if they don't operate on me soon. So I'm allowed to be paranoid and I feel that writing this here is the only way for me to express my thoughts. I'm seeing a new doctor in a week so then I'll learn more. Can't wait! Even though I'm scared like hell.

Happyy!!!

So yesterday was a tad hard and I wanted to give up! Thos morning I decided to step on that scale again and see what I've really lost because morning-weight is the one you should always go by. Also I weighd my self on the morning of day one. Well I can say that this day started better than I could have imagined! I've lost just over 6kilos! I'm so frickin happy!! That result will give me the strength to get through this day!:)

Day 5

I had countless weak moments! Oh my god! It was so hard to keep control! But I made it! With my friends cheering me on, I made it through the day, wohoo! The reason for the sucky day was that I made the mistake to step on a scale in the middle of the day after lunch!! I lost just under 4 kilos. I really don't know what I'm whining about because it's more than people lose in weeks! So maybe this is working after all!!:)
Hardest part of the day was going to the shop because Friday is my yummy food-day.. Seeing everyone buy pizzas and steaks and chocolate made me want to cry! So I did cheat a little bit.. My shopping was sad anyway! But I just had to have some oatmeel porridge.. So nothing unhealthy!

Girls house

Apparently this healthy food is messing up with my system because I woke up early today and even though I tried I couldn't fall back a sleep. And I really wanted to! Dreaming something that good should never resolute to waking up to this stupid reality called life.
Well I had work to do so FINE I'll get up earlier! Later I got company from Camilla and "Tomcam" and then Riikka and then Jo. Fun un-expected visits!
Camilla stayd hours after the girls left. It was fun just to sit and talk, just us for a change:) Not a day passed by that I eouldn't talk to her anyway :D
Rest of the evening I spent like modt weeknights - playing Candy Crush and wathing tv.

Day 4

I'm quite shocked that my stomache has not started disagreeing with this diet. I don't just have my illnes but I was also hospitalised on saturday because I had some major pains that were completely new to me. Found out that on top of everything else, I have an ulcer! The ulcer I can actually feel all the time - well maybe not the actual ulcer but the pain caused by it. For me it's not the worst pain ever but I can imagine how bad it would be for someone with no stomache problems.. It's like this burning pain but at the same time it feels like I'm being stabbed from the inside.

So back to the diet. Today I ate fruits and fat-free natural yoghurt. No problem there, nor in the soup-eating. It's so good compared to the original one! Had to make more today because I ate it all! Tomorrow is a weird tomato-day.. Tell you more when I suffer through it.
By the way, one thing that I craved on day 1&2 was ice cold coca cola.. Well it was nice to go to the shop today...

Day 3

Today was easy because of the freedom to eat fruits!! I made a new soup and I looooved it!! It was supposed to last for 3 days but I barely have enough for lunch tomorrow! That's how good it was!

Today was a fun day anyways because I got to hang out with Noomi and then I met the tiny one! How can something that small be so real??! <3

Need to sleep now - my eyes are closing allready.. Niiiight!!

Babyyyy

Last night I got some happy news! Well I wasn't happy when Lotta wrote me she was in pain at midnight but everything got better approximately 4 hours later when she wrote me again, telling she just gave birth to their second princess! I am so happy for her, she has been in such agony for over 2weeks and there has been nothing I could do other than just try to support her and keep her company.
Tomorrow I will finally meet the tiny miracle! After I first look after her big sister so that daddy can go to the hospital and spend time with mommy and the little one:)
So this should be it with baby-news for a while I think:P

Day 2

Oh man oh man this is hard.. I had a whole friggin cucumber for brekkie!! For a snack I had a red paprika(aka.bell pepper). Then I ate the soup for late lunch/early dinner.. Had to put some new taste in it so I chopped up some garlic which did not make it good but less disgusting. Then I got creative and put slices of zucchini spiced with garlic-powder and oregano in the oven and it was deliscious!! Yum! In the evening I finally had two small-sized baked potatoes with butter, and needless to say - it was heavenly. I had to cheat today but I don't think it could have been that bad... I ate two plums so nothing unhealthy, I just needed something sweet. Tomorrow is going to be a long day but most versitile of the days yet, it's eat as much vegetables and fruits as you want-day! And who could forghet the soup!! Making a new batch tomorrow with new spices and ingredients so hopefully it will be tolerable for a few days.. I'm allready planning what I'll eat on monday.. I'll splurge first and then I'll continue with the healthy eating with one piggy-day a week! Need to change my daily chedule too.. Can't eat this irregularly. That might allready do the trick for me but I'm hoping my poorly tummy will be able to handle it too.. Seeing as I normally don't eat during the day and I have my first meal like 6pm or later, but that's become a routine just because of my illness.

Day 1

Dear diary, the first day of the diet is going great - I'm ready to kill my self any minute now. I've been on this diet before and did remember it was quite gross but I did not recall it being so bad I nearly threw up from the soup.. It just does not give any pleasure to my taste buds. Today I had juices and one fruit.. That and the soup is really not enough but I remember days one and two being the hardest ones so I just have one more to go to day 3! Tomorrow I get to eat green vegetables and a baked potato with butter so I can't wait for that!! Oh and of course the soup, which has to be eaten every day as much as possible.. Ew.
The soup looked and smelled so much better before cooking it...maybe I'll just have everything raw tomorrow..

Home sweet home

Nu e jag hemma.. tung natt bakom. efter 5 timmars väntande fick jag då veta att jag har magsår... på allvar, magsår?! What's next?? Så jag har fått magsår av att stressa...OM MIN MAGE!
Så doctor's orders var lite mera mediciner än normalt och en stressfri omgivning. Hon ville att jag sku ha stannat på avdelningen men jag tycker man kan ta de lite lugnare om man är hemma. Sjukhus e int direkt min uppfattning om stressfri omgivning int. Men nu så måst ja va extra lugn å ta allt som en nypa sallt så de int blir värre.. Ska bli svårt då ja redan stressar över att måsta försöka ta de lugnt!

Piipaa

Va fan ha ja gjort åt dig du din jävla bitch till Karma??! Ligger på sjukhus pga grymma smärtor i magen.. Ja klagar int lätt om min mage och dens kremppor men nu fick ja nästan lite panik så därför liggrr jag här nu.. Har riktigt nya känningar och smärtor. Urk.

F as in....

Even though I'm on sick-leave I love friday's! It's my snack-/movienight. Today I just made a nice steak dinner and watched Iron man 1&2.. Both awesome!
Otherwise this day was pretty normal - went to take some x-rays of my knee and afterwards to Lotta's for some Noomi-time. Love that child! Can't wait for her to be big enough to sleep in any bed so I can have her stay with me sometimes!! Maybe mommy and daddy agree ;) We had some lunch made by Lotta and then just a nice chill-time with some strange discussions... At least someone learned something today, Lotta found out what a DILF is when I was telling a story :D
Then she made me go and buy a disgusting amount of sweets with her! It's always her fault when I do it! So, that was my wild single-girl Friday.. Wish you had my crazy life huh?

I might just get wild tomorrow and go to the big city to check out the night-life! This time I actually do mean big city.. Like as in the capital :D
Then I'm having a weekend off the drink because my horrible diet that starts on monday...I promise and warn you that there will be updates and moaning about it first thing on Monday... I'll probably make it till lunch and then I will start bitching about it...

Now I need my rest if I will have to kerp up with the younger ones tomorrow;) I'll leave you with some crazy friday-pics!

Pain!!

Nu känner jag att jag har fått en drive för att blogga då jag varje dag får en fiilis att "dehär måste jag blogga om"! Måst ännu bara påpeka att det skulle vara roligt om folk skulle kommentera lite mera så sku driven bli ännu större! Roligt sku ju också vara att veta vem alla som brukar titta in här:)

Börja skriva dehär inlägget för en halv timme sen men sen fastna jag med mina ögon i TV:n. Ser på en dokumentär om USA:s tattar-familjer...herregud. "Fyrk finns"-much? Ge mig en arranged marriage om det innebär sådär fint och stort bröllop och såndäna mängder med presenter och pengar! Dehär paret fick 40 000$ av sina gäster som en liten "nest egg"! Den som säger att pengar kan inte köpa lycka ha aldrig varit fattig!

Urk vill inte tänka på pengar, eller kanske mera the lack of it.

Imoron ska ja på röntgen med mitt knä. Föll ju här utanför mitt port för 1½månd sen och fucka upp knät totalt. Skada den för 6 år sen i grekland men nu lyckades ja då pånytt och denhär gången blir de högst antagligen operation - som tur! Den har varit sjuk sen 2007 när jag skada den så de va på tiden att den fixas!
Lite rädd för operationen är ja dock, hur ska ja liksom klara mig ensam hemma som en invalid?? Hur ska jag kunna kliva in och ut från badkaret för att kunna duscha?! Allt annat borde fixa sig, som att handla mat osv..tror jag har såpass bra kompiskrets och familj att dom kanske kan hjälpa mig med de:)
Om int - screw you guys!:P
Vet dock inte när los opertatziones händer men hoppeligen snart för att jag är in paiiiin!

2007
Skönt med gips från låren ner till vristen i 46graders värme

Sen en annan grej... fick veta för en vecka sen att jag ska genomgå en stor operation med magen.. Är helt skitnervös då de faktist e en stor operation och läkandet kan ta evigheter...tom. ett halft år om int mer! Men trots allt så känner ja att dehär e en bra sak. Har varit sjuk så många år nu.. Livet jag lever nu e int direkt ett liv som en 26-åring ska leva.. mår ju dåligt helatiden pga min sjukdom som blir bara värre och värre. Ja har ju int mera någå alternativ, utan operationen är ett måste då allt annat har prövats på.. Alla mediciner som finns till min sjukdom är nu prövade. Senaste medicinen är gjort för leukemi, så den är väldigt stark och inte äns den har hjälpt mig..
Kommer att slippa av med ALLA mediciner efter operationen! Och dom lovar att alla smärtor försvinner! Vilket låter faktist otroligt i mina öron eftersom jag lider så många timmar av dagen med dom.. Och då är det inte frågan om lite knip utan de känns som om nån skulle försöka döda mig inifrån..
Viktigast av allt är dock de att nu elimineras tjocktarmscancer som jag skulle ha haft framför mig förr eller senare med 85% säkerhet.. Skrämmande att tänka att man vid nåt skede av sitt liv skulle ha fått cancer utan att man kunde ha stoppat den.
Är så trött på dehär att de int e sant. Går absolut inte att förklara hur jag känner och mår. Fysiskt och psykiskt.. Mår illa, tappar håret, är svullen av alla mediciner, har sjukt så gott som helatiden och är trött största delen av dagen. Är så trött på att vara såhär sjuk och att må såhär dåligt helatiden. I just slap on a happy face and hide it. Orkar dock inte med folks skämt om mitt eviga vessaspringande. Ha sagt om de fler gånger hur de int ha fått mig att skratta efter typ 2 första gångerna men de tycks int gå fram. Bryr mig knappast om nån annan tycker de e roligt? Tycker bara de e extremt fräckt att göra ett skämt med nån annans sjukdom. Varför sku jag tycka de e okeij att göra skämt om de? Sku folk göra skämt om en kompis som har cancer eller är fet eller blind? knappast...

Literally 

Skönt att få lite öppna sig, är inte varje dag jag pratar om min sjukdom och mitt mående såhär..

Cupcake-factory

I never posted anything about my bakings from Sat! I have to say that I freaking love making cupcakes! Not the easiest thing to do but it was fun! Personally I don't like the frosting but I'll try some other recipe's next time.. Carrotcake-cupcakes sound delish!

Baby baby baby

No baby-girl number 2 today either, but I got to see Tomcam again :) Mommy looks happy and well-being but understandably tired :) I have a weird effect on children and babies...they tend to fart when I hold them, and this one was no exception. That's all.

Tomcam<3

She is here!! Finally! I have been waiting for this for what feels like a year! It's like it was ages ago when I was handed a black and white picture wich was followed by confused happy sobbing. Camilla has always been like a sister to me and one of the greatest friends I've ever had and funny enough Tommy is like a brother I never had:) I'm such a wuss and actually holding back tears as I write this. Of all the stupid stuff they have done together this was the best result possible <3
She is so beautiful and sweet. I met her when she was only 1,5 hour old and I still thought she was perfect. Babies at that age usually look like a potato. I am in love

Lööööda

Alla skriver och postar bilder på Facebook om fina vädret och hur härligt de e att sitta ute i solen.. Härligt att solen visat sig här i kalla norden jo, men jag har absolut ingen intresse att jubla över detta när det men nästan 100% säkerhet blir skit väder till kvällen. Älskar våren då det ändå betyder att dagarna blir längre och sommaren närmar sig, men i mitt fall e de också så att det blir halt ute då snön smälter på dagen och fryser på natten och högst troligen orsakar en olycka åt mig:D plus att våren och sommaren betyder massa snor, nysande och andningsproblem, så nu njuter jag av att få luft!
Ha haft en trög start idag men månne de int snart börjar hända här å:P Ha ändå diskat typ 2 veckors disk och nu har jag ugnen på! Let the baking continue!!:) soon. After Idol.

Women rule!

Today is International Womens day! It was a good day! Woke up and had chocolate-cereal like all grown-up's do. Read some magazines about baking while watching "Cake boss", a series I LOVE! It's a reality-show about a bakery in Hoboken, Jersey. I think I've watched all the seasons possible and I hope they will never stop making it! I learn so much just by watching the show! Since I am on a long-term sick-leave *sigh*, I have plenty of time in my hands and I have tried to think of something new and fun to do. Tried to donate my time to charity by volunteering for pretty much anything, but they don't take volunteers over here:O Anyway so I descided to start baking again. But more seriously now than ever. I want to be able to sell my bakings or take orders at some point! So now I can use a part of my time to practise. I am going to need volunteers for cake-tasting tho;)
Ok so that's all about my big baking-dream;) After cake-boss I pampered my self with girly things like fixing my eyebrows, taking a long hot shower, doing my make-up and so on. Around 4:30 Lotta came and picked me up. We went to a Greek restaurant for dinner. And boy did we eat! I know the people there so we were practically showered with free portions! Love going there! They make me feel so welcome, like we were family! Lotta had a big cup of Greek coffee. There is a urban legend that it will make pregnant women go to labour, so fingers crossed! After our dinner we went and bought like all the candy in the world, because god forbid if we were to lose any weight after all that food! And as a cherry on top of the foodmountain, I baked after I came home! Didn't taste anything yet tho!
So now I'm just hoping and waiting for them to call me and to go babysit Noomi since I am on labour-stand by! Last time Lotta was preggers and past her due-date they told us at the same restaurant she should have the coffee, and she did and the next day Noomi started her journey to the world! I've been walking on eggshells for a while now because either one of the preggo's could go to labour any minute now!
Now "just a few" levels of Flow - a game I'm addicted to - and then sleepy sleep!


Soon there will be two of these in that house:)

Piece of cake!

I've always loved baking and I've always been pretty creative with my cakes and everything I make. Today I descided to make cupcakes for the first time ever! It was fun and not at all as difficult as I imagined it to be! I even worked with fondant wich I've never done before, so many first's today! Made some pretty decorations too but they are drying now so I haven't got a decorated cupcake to show you but I'll put a picture of a nearly finished one so you'll get the picture:) Tomorrow I'll continue baking since I got my drive back!:)

Dement

Ibland undrar ja nog hur jag klarar mig från morgon till natt utan att jag tappar bort mig eller lyckas skada mig själv värre. Har inte bara dåligt minne, nej, jag gör även saker som jag inte ibland vet orsak till.
Var just på vessan å efter att ja va färdig så gick ja ut utan att dra upp byxorna! Tur va ja hemma. Nån dag fönar jag säkert håret före de äns e blött och går i duschen medan jag gör det.

Ska försöka att int glömma bloggen!

Roligt med Q&A

Fick en bloggaward av Lotta

Instruktioner: Svara på de 5 frågorna du får. Skicka sedan vidare 5 nya frågor, som du själv hittar på, till 5 andra bloggare som du länkar till på din blogg. Skriv på deras bloggar att de fått en nominering så att de inte missar den.

1. Vad var bäst med året 2012?
Min close encounter med sexigaste, härligaste  Andreas Thorkildsen!!
Kan dock inte nämna bara en så måste tillägga alla härliga keikkan jag va på och att bli gudmor till lilla Tatu och när jag blev frågad att bli faddermor:) Skönt att veta att folk litar på en och ser att man passar till en så viktig uppgift:)
2. Vad var sämst med året 2012?
Att varken Andreas Thorkildsen eller Justin Bieber kom ihåg att vi skulle gifta oss! Men okeij, jag glömmer också ibland att köpa diskmedel när jag är i butiken så kanske dom är förlåtna.
3. Hur ser ditt liv ut om 5år?
Gift med Andreas eller Justin..eller kanske båda? Kan man vara gift med två typer när man bor i Finland? Jag flyttar nog gärna till ett annat land om jag bara får det att funka.
4. Vad vill du uppnå före du dör?
Orkar inte upprepa mig själv från tidigare frågorna så säger att jag vill hinna göra allt jag drömmer om att få göra, som tex. bo i NY, pröva mina vingar som stylist, resa så mycke jag bara har råd med före jag sedan skaffar familj fast vem vet, kanske jag hittar nån som vill göra allt detta MED mig :)
5. Vilket ord tycker du beskriver mig bäst?
Voij Lotta jag kan inte beskriva dig med bara ett ord, du har bästa egenskap man kan önska sig i en vän, du lyssnar, delar med dig dina bekymmer och glädje, du är en super-mamma, du hjälper en när man mäst behöver dig och du är bara så rolig att umgås med! <3

Jag nominerar:
Siisi
Jessica
Cia

Camilla(i kommentar-fältet)
Jo(i kommentar-fältet)


Frågor:

1. Om du skulle få köpa/ge nånting åt mig, VADSOMHELST, vad skulle det vara?
2. Om du fick jobba med vadsomhelst, vad skulle det vara?
3. Vad är det pinsammaste som har hänt till dig?
4. Vad gjorde dig senast så arg att du ville slå nån? (säger du aldrig, då ljuger du:P)
5. Om du hade en såkallad "free-pass" att vara med en kändis, vem skulle du vilja vara med?

Quick run-through in pictures

It's the same thing again..I've been wanting to write like every day, but then I thought I can't just write randomly one day because I have not written for like 2 months and filled everyone up on my doings.
So to make things easier for me I'm going to put up pictures of the past 2 months and just let them speak for themselves :P
Otherwise I will never get back to blogging, and I really miss it! PLUS I'm going to start on my baking-hobby again so I'll treat u guys with pics of my (hopefully) successful baking! And all of you's who live near by are more than welcome to taste them too!

Re-union with the old gang

I fell in love while I was in Germany.... Jager is now my new bff

Camillas diaper-cake for her baby shower

waiting for the babymomma

Bästaste Camcam <3

HBD sis! <3

The retards took over London!

MOMMYYYYYYYYYY <3

Me and Ben

Miss my sis <3