Har int ork att skriva hit just nu... Är helt megatrött å apatisk helatiden. Har lite sämre period sådär överlag. Skriver dessutom på svenska för att ja har såndän fiilis att so fucking what fö ingen läser mina juttun ändå. Wow så ja E positiv! Vet int när ha senast ha vari på såhär asigt humör hela tiden. Blir tom. fitti på mig själv av att kylskåpsdörren blivit på glänt. Int e de lätt nej. Men herregud va händer här?! Fimpen fes just så hårt att de lät som en människa! Eller vem fan vet, kanske de va jag, kanske ja int märker mer när ja gör sånt heller.
Ja blev medlem i en grupp för 18-30 åriga som har samma sjukdom som jag. Har udnvikit länge att göra sånt men nu kände jag att ja behöver "vertaistuki"...va de nu sen e på svenska. Har på en dag fått så mycke hjälp och folk som kämpat mig att ja ha sutti å lipa när ja ha läst allt som domhär obekanta människor har skrivit till mig. Helt otroligt. Några mina vänner skriver med mig om domhär sakerna å de e härligt att få sånt stöd, men de man kan prata med människor med samma sjukdom e nog helt annorlunda och de behövde ja faktist.
Nu är det två dagar kvar till mitt första läkarbesök på nya sjukhuset! Asigt spännande!
tiistai 9. huhtikuuta 2013
perjantai 5. huhtikuuta 2013
sunnuntai 31. maaliskuuta 2013
Last week
As I said earlier nothing extremely exciting has happened.
After I got a great start to a healthier life by being on that killer diet I signed up at a gym. Trying to go there 2-3 times minimum in a week. I am not going to be too hard on my self even if I did start a healthier life, so I am going to allow a little splurging on the week-ends. Nothing over the top though! Last friday I made pizza with low-fat cheese and I tried out Coca Cola Zero which was just as good as regular Coke! For all you Coke-Light haters - I am one of you and I am telling you that Zero tasted like the real thing!
Anyway, I can't go all crazy with dieting either because it will back-fire as a very irritated stomache and I'm fine with just one ulcer, don't need several.
AND I needs my wine.
I thought I would be dying after my first work-out, but instead I was filled with energy and endorphines! Not too much muscle-pain either, so I whent the next day too. I can't wait to go again!! Feels so great to have actually developed a positive intake to working out! I used to hate it!! It felt like a must and I never enjoyed it. At all. But now it's something that I get to look forward to doing. I think this will do me good mentally as well. Getting my mind off things is what I need. I'm not saying I'm going crazy or that I am depressed, no no just too occupied with my thoughts about my health. Everything else feels good.
My sister came home for easter so we had some sis-time with awesome Greek food and a movie! :)
This week-end we celebrated easter. Basically this is how it whent: Lamb-wine-vodka-dancing-burgers-hangover-easterwitches-kebab-koma-alcohol-makeup-alcohol-dancing-sleepingforhundredhours-food-icecream-tv-bed-happythateasterisoverbecauseiamtoooldforthisshit.
After I got a great start to a healthier life by being on that killer diet I signed up at a gym. Trying to go there 2-3 times minimum in a week. I am not going to be too hard on my self even if I did start a healthier life, so I am going to allow a little splurging on the week-ends. Nothing over the top though! Last friday I made pizza with low-fat cheese and I tried out Coca Cola Zero which was just as good as regular Coke! For all you Coke-Light haters - I am one of you and I am telling you that Zero tasted like the real thing!
Anyway, I can't go all crazy with dieting either because it will back-fire as a very irritated stomache and I'm fine with just one ulcer, don't need several.
AND I needs my wine.
I thought I would be dying after my first work-out, but instead I was filled with energy and endorphines! Not too much muscle-pain either, so I whent the next day too. I can't wait to go again!! Feels so great to have actually developed a positive intake to working out! I used to hate it!! It felt like a must and I never enjoyed it. At all. But now it's something that I get to look forward to doing. I think this will do me good mentally as well. Getting my mind off things is what I need. I'm not saying I'm going crazy or that I am depressed, no no just too occupied with my thoughts about my health. Everything else feels good.
My sister came home for easter so we had some sis-time with awesome Greek food and a movie! :)
This week-end we celebrated easter. Basically this is how it whent: Lamb-wine-vodka-dancing-burgers-hangover-easterwitches-kebab-koma-alcohol-makeup-alcohol-dancing-sleepingforhundredhours-food-icecream-tv-bed-happythateasterisoverbecauseiamtoooldforthisshit.
Silence
Ok so I've been a bit quiet on the blog-front and I' sorry to say that it's not because I have been doing loads of exciting thins. I have just not felt like writing because my mood has not been so great. I just feel like there is too much going on right now. And even though I have tried to take it easy because I'm paranoid that I will die if I do anything that is out of ordinary. Not maybe that literally but I'm seriously paranoid about getting cancer if I dont get the surgery done quickly enough. It sounds crazy to some, but it is my future with an 80% chance if they don't operate on me soon. So I'm allowed to be paranoid and I feel that writing this here is the only way for me to express my thoughts. I'm seeing a new doctor in a week so then I'll learn more. Can't wait! Even though I'm scared like hell.
lauantai 23. maaliskuuta 2013
Happyy!!!
So yesterday was a tad hard and I wanted to give up! Thos morning I decided to step on that scale again and see what I've really lost because morning-weight is the one you should always go by. Also I weighd my self on the morning of day one. Well I can say that this day started better than I could have imagined! I've lost just over 6kilos! I'm so frickin happy!! That result will give me the strength to get through this day!:)
Day 5
I had countless weak moments! Oh my god! It was so hard to keep control! But I made it! With my friends cheering me on, I made it through the day, wohoo! The reason for the sucky day was that I made the mistake to step on a scale in the middle of the day after lunch!! I lost just under 4 kilos. I really don't know what I'm whining about because it's more than people lose in weeks! So maybe this is working after all!!:)
Hardest part of the day was going to the shop because Friday is my yummy food-day.. Seeing everyone buy pizzas and steaks and chocolate made me want to cry! So I did cheat a little bit.. My shopping was sad anyway! But I just had to have some oatmeel porridge.. So nothing unhealthy!
Hardest part of the day was going to the shop because Friday is my yummy food-day.. Seeing everyone buy pizzas and steaks and chocolate made me want to cry! So I did cheat a little bit.. My shopping was sad anyway! But I just had to have some oatmeel porridge.. So nothing unhealthy!
torstai 21. maaliskuuta 2013
Girls house
Apparently this healthy food is messing up with my system because I woke up early today and even though I tried I couldn't fall back a sleep. And I really wanted to! Dreaming something that good should never resolute to waking up to this stupid reality called life.
Well I had work to do so FINE I'll get up earlier! Later I got company from Camilla and "Tomcam" and then Riikka and then Jo. Fun un-expected visits!
Camilla stayd hours after the girls left. It was fun just to sit and talk, just us for a change:) Not a day passed by that I eouldn't talk to her anyway :D
Rest of the evening I spent like modt weeknights - playing Candy Crush and wathing tv.
Well I had work to do so FINE I'll get up earlier! Later I got company from Camilla and "Tomcam" and then Riikka and then Jo. Fun un-expected visits!
Camilla stayd hours after the girls left. It was fun just to sit and talk, just us for a change:) Not a day passed by that I eouldn't talk to her anyway :D
Rest of the evening I spent like modt weeknights - playing Candy Crush and wathing tv.
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