Last week

As I said earlier nothing extremely exciting has happened.
After I got a great start to a healthier life by being on that killer diet I signed up at a gym. Trying to go there 2-3 times minimum in a week. I am not going to be too hard on my self even if I did start a healthier life, so I am going to allow a little splurging on the week-ends. Nothing over the top though! Last friday I made pizza with low-fat cheese and I tried out Coca Cola Zero which was just as good as regular Coke! For all you Coke-Light haters - I am one of you and I am telling you that Zero tasted like the real thing!
Anyway, I can't go all crazy with dieting either because it will back-fire as a very irritated stomache and I'm fine with just one ulcer, don't need several.
AND I needs my wine.

I thought I would be dying after my first work-out, but instead I was filled with energy and endorphines! Not too much muscle-pain either, so I whent the next day too. I can't wait to go again!! Feels so great to have actually developed a positive intake to working out! I used to hate it!! It felt like a must and I never enjoyed it. At all. But now it's something that I get to look forward to doing. I think this will do me good mentally as well. Getting my mind off things is what I need. I'm not saying I'm going crazy or that I am depressed, no no just too occupied with my thoughts about my health. Everything else feels good.

My sister came home for easter so we had some sis-time with awesome Greek food and a movie! :)

This week-end we celebrated easter. Basically this is how it whent: Lamb-wine-vodka-dancing-burgers-hangover-easterwitches-kebab-koma-alcohol-makeup-alcohol-dancing-sleepingforhundredhours-food-icecream-tv-bed-happythateasterisoverbecauseiamtoooldforthisshit.

Silence

Ok so I've been a bit quiet on the blog-front and I' sorry to say that it's not because I have been doing loads of exciting thins. I have just not felt like writing because my mood has not been so great. I just feel like there is too much going on right now. And even though I have tried to take it easy because I'm paranoid that I will die if I do anything that is out of ordinary. Not maybe that literally but I'm seriously paranoid about getting cancer if I dont get the surgery done quickly enough. It sounds crazy to some, but it is my future with an 80% chance if they don't operate on me soon. So I'm allowed to be paranoid and I feel that writing this here is the only way for me to express my thoughts. I'm seeing a new doctor in a week so then I'll learn more. Can't wait! Even though I'm scared like hell.

Happyy!!!

So yesterday was a tad hard and I wanted to give up! Thos morning I decided to step on that scale again and see what I've really lost because morning-weight is the one you should always go by. Also I weighd my self on the morning of day one. Well I can say that this day started better than I could have imagined! I've lost just over 6kilos! I'm so frickin happy!! That result will give me the strength to get through this day!:)

Day 5

I had countless weak moments! Oh my god! It was so hard to keep control! But I made it! With my friends cheering me on, I made it through the day, wohoo! The reason for the sucky day was that I made the mistake to step on a scale in the middle of the day after lunch!! I lost just under 4 kilos. I really don't know what I'm whining about because it's more than people lose in weeks! So maybe this is working after all!!:)
Hardest part of the day was going to the shop because Friday is my yummy food-day.. Seeing everyone buy pizzas and steaks and chocolate made me want to cry! So I did cheat a little bit.. My shopping was sad anyway! But I just had to have some oatmeel porridge.. So nothing unhealthy!

Girls house

Apparently this healthy food is messing up with my system because I woke up early today and even though I tried I couldn't fall back a sleep. And I really wanted to! Dreaming something that good should never resolute to waking up to this stupid reality called life.
Well I had work to do so FINE I'll get up earlier! Later I got company from Camilla and "Tomcam" and then Riikka and then Jo. Fun un-expected visits!
Camilla stayd hours after the girls left. It was fun just to sit and talk, just us for a change:) Not a day passed by that I eouldn't talk to her anyway :D
Rest of the evening I spent like modt weeknights - playing Candy Crush and wathing tv.

Day 4

I'm quite shocked that my stomache has not started disagreeing with this diet. I don't just have my illnes but I was also hospitalised on saturday because I had some major pains that were completely new to me. Found out that on top of everything else, I have an ulcer! The ulcer I can actually feel all the time - well maybe not the actual ulcer but the pain caused by it. For me it's not the worst pain ever but I can imagine how bad it would be for someone with no stomache problems.. It's like this burning pain but at the same time it feels like I'm being stabbed from the inside.

So back to the diet. Today I ate fruits and fat-free natural yoghurt. No problem there, nor in the soup-eating. It's so good compared to the original one! Had to make more today because I ate it all! Tomorrow is a weird tomato-day.. Tell you more when I suffer through it.
By the way, one thing that I craved on day 1&2 was ice cold coca cola.. Well it was nice to go to the shop today...

Day 3

Today was easy because of the freedom to eat fruits!! I made a new soup and I looooved it!! It was supposed to last for 3 days but I barely have enough for lunch tomorrow! That's how good it was!

Today was a fun day anyways because I got to hang out with Noomi and then I met the tiny one! How can something that small be so real??! <3

Need to sleep now - my eyes are closing allready.. Niiiight!!